Here is a Colbert-esque post for Townhall.com on an article about Al Gore’s “agenda”

Greed is ugly

It makes me sick that enviro-dogooders like Gore want to hack into the profits of the oil companies and other “big time polluters”.  Oil is a limited resource and we need to strike while the irons hot.  The future of oil supplies is counting on oil that we can discover through new technologies for finding it.  But if there’s none to find we could be at peak oil now!!

This is the worst time to further tax the oil companies!  It doesn’t make any sense to switch to renewable electricity and electric vehicles while we still have oil.  One day we wont have any oil and then there will be lots of time to use these renewable sources (assuming the sunspot which is currently heating up our planet doesn’t continue in which case we are simply doomed and there’s nothing we can do about it)

Profits are what make our system work.  Companies need to grow to remain viable.  Imagine what it’s like for huge companies like oil companies have to grow constantly!  The more you make you have to make even more next year!  Lets not hamper their growth with “green” mumbo jumbo.  That’s just ugly.

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